ONE OF THE GREATEST GIFTS I EVER HAD CAME FROM GOD... I CALL HIM DAD

How to express how I feel deep within

To one who has been with me through thick and thin

From the day you were told, "Its a girl"

Your life and mine went in a swirl.

My life has not been easy for you

But you always knew just what to do

I remember the day that I got my brace

You knew I wasn't happy by the look on my face

Its not easy to explain to someone who has felt all my pain

I remember the trip on the plane

Only five minutes did the doctor take to explain,

"Take her home there is nothing we can do"

No one could know the hurt you did feel

Hoping and praying this all was not real

From that moment on you would always say,

We'll do all we can to not let this get in her way

So as life goes on so did we and I wanted like others

to climb that tree I wanted to be just like the rest

Alas you knew you could not protest

Tho it took some time for me to adjust

you were always there to tell me I must

"Do not give up, believe that you can

Believe in yourself and soon you will see

There is nothing in life that you can not be"

With out you by my side I don't know what I'd do

For it was you who was there helping me to get through

They say that when God closes one door he opens another

I believe so that we will discover

That what lies ahead we need not dread.

But to look instead for what we are here to do

And not to feel sorry for me or you.

Laugh & your life will be lengthened for this is the great secret of long life.- Og Mandino

After doctors told me there was nothing they could do... to stop doing everything... conserve the strengh I had left... I made a life changing decision that I was going to get well. Laughter sounded like a good place to start and would be my first in house treatment. There are several studies that have been performed on all the health benefits of laughter. In fact, When laughter is shared, it binds people together and increases happiness and intimacy. Laughter also triggers healthy physical changes in the body. Humor and laughter strengthen your immune system, boost your energy, diminish pain, and protect you from the damaging effects of stress.

And so, a website was born.... StupidAssQuestions.com . It started with one simple question, "WHY AM I SO BEAUTIFUL?" I know it sounds vane but, it was actually a joke between my niece and I wherein, everytime I saw her I would ask that question. She never had the answer of course, so we put it out to the public to come up with an answer. From there it has evolved into people writing in their own questions. One day, my son who created his own comedy show called, The Haus of Mimosa, suggested I contact comedians and have them answer questions. Thus the next piece of the puzzle fell into place. Soon I was bantering back and forth funny situations and senarios with a very talented artist and friend which created more questions. All day long we laughed and laughed. And the rest as they say is history. I'm not a doctor of any kind but, I would prescribe laughter for whatever ails you.

THE JOURNEY IS THE REWARD. - Taoist saying

From the first day I entered physical therapy I knew that I could get well. I knew there was an answer. My belief is so strong that I can actually feel it. But, it hasn't been easy. I've felt the highest of highs and the lowest of lows and everything in between. I've wondered WHY me and I've wonder why NOT me. As months came and went so too would my resolve. And just as I began to question myself AND my therapist, I would do something that I hadn't done in a long time. I would do something that to others was barely noticeable. To me, it was like climbing Mount Everst. I've come to realize a few things from all this. This journey that I am on is a blessing and each small accomplishment is a gift. And so, it truly has been worth it.

A JOURNEY OF A THOUSAND MILES BEGINS WITH A SINGLE STEP - Lao Tzu

Physical therapy was awesome today! I am so excited! It started with walking. Well, what walking is for me right now. It goes something like this...... they have me walk from chair to chair with a person on my left and my right. The person on my left holds on to me pretty good while I hold on to the person on my right. I walk back and forth 6 times with a rest after each pass. Usually I can't wait to sit down as its a struggle to get to the other side. BUT today I walked with greater ease. I didn't stuggle to get there and when I had made the 6th pass I didn't hurt. OMG! I couldn't believe it. I knew one day it would happen I just didn't know when. THEN, when I am done walking I get in the wheelchair, wheel to another chair and sit there doing exercises. I always need to get real close to the chair before I get out of the wheelchair. This time I asked if I could walk over. I kinda shocked myself that I even thought to do this as I am always tired after walking. And I did it. The whole time I was at therapy I kept doing things I wouldn't normally do because I feel to weak and or I'm afraid. But nothing scared me. I was so excited. A million dollars couldn't have made me happier. Though it might be fun to test my theory. As much as walking again is my ultimate goal, I was more excited that I wasn't afraid. That was several days ago and with each passing day the excitement doesn't wane, it only increases. I am sooooooo blessed to have people help me get there and blessed with the people who are there to help me. There is a light at the end of the tunnel.

"Music expresses that which cannot be put into words and cannot remain silent” - Victor Hugo

In looking for ways to a better life I seek out things that make me feel up and energized. Music seems to always help no matter my mood. It is medicine for my body mind and spirit. It speaks to me and I to it.

Music therapy along with several studies have found that when music was used with the elderly in nursing homes, particularly music of their era, they showed increase happiness in their moods and overall well being.

So the next time your feeling down put on your favorite music, SING and DANCE your way into a great mood. You'll thank me for it.

CLICK ON THE WORD "SING" OR "DANCE" TO VIEW VIDEO

No one will ever see me quit, because I simply won't. If I start something, I will finish it and do it well - Steve Belmarsh

Sorry it's been so long since I've written. I got caught up in reading Montels book. I've come to one conclusion after reading it and that is.... WHAT'S GOOD FOR THE GOOSE IS NOT ALWAYS GOOD FOR THE GANDER!  Now I'm not saying that his approach to wellness isn't good, it's just not the right fit for me. So I've decided to venture out on my own. Blaze a new trail as it were, forge ahead, step outside the box, ok I'll stop. 

At first I must admit, I was tempted to give up. There was a part of me that  thought, "Listen here Suzie, accept what is and move on!".  Kinda rough way to put it but okkkkkkk. Then the other part of me said, "Not so fast there honey, since when have you ever given up"? Good point I thought. But the part of me that wanted to give up spoke up louder this time, "She's wanted to give up since not much she's tried is working and she's getting tired, that's since when." And then all hell broke loose. They actually began fighting. Tit for tat, match set point and all that. Things got so heated up I finally had to step in. Both sides had legitimate points but, arguing wasn't going to get me anywhere. And so, I am taking one day at a time. Presently I am going to physical therapy. So far so good. Progress is baby steps but I love and recognize each one. Every little thing has become a miracle to me. Just the other day I stood up and was able to stand there pain free for quite some time. I was so excited. 

Give up??????? NEVER! Because in the minute that proceeds could be where another miracle occures. I've gotten both sides to at least be open minded. And so another miracle has occured once again.

Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain - Mark Twain

Recently I invited Fear to dinner. Come to find out..... Fear is ACTUALLY my friend. We made peace and then we ate cup cakes!

Today I heard my heart sing

Most every Monday and Wednesday I am blessed to have 2 of the sweetest little boys come to my home after school. They share with me a little of what went on in school, play cards with me or a computer game. And on these days my heart sings.

Lucky me

"Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk." -Unknown

Yesterday my mother called me to tell me of watching Montel Williams speak of his life with Multiple Sclerosis. Some of what he described she felt was much like what I experience. Though our diseases are vastly different (in how the disease affects the body) it's funny how they are so much the same (in some of the aftercare).

I got out my iPad (no not the NEW TOTALLY AWESOME NEED TO HAVE RESOLUTIONARY IPAD FOR MOTHER'S DAY OR ANY UPCOMING HOLIDAY BIRTHDAY etc), but the totally awesome one Travis and Jason bought me which I love to pieces. Now that I look back at it, it seems strange how I thought I would never have a need for an iPad. Now, I can't imagine my life without it. For example (I knew you'd need one) currently I am not only without a car, but I couldn't get out to that car without help (reference to the prior posts on physical therapy). I am a person who loves to read. So how do I get the book I want...... iPad and Kindle... VIOLA'. Couldn't be happier... well yes I could but for now, this will suffice.

I digress. So I download Montel's new book, "Living Well: 21 Days to Transform Your Life, Supercharge Your Health, and Feel Spectacular".

Here's the challenge I've placed before me:

First and formost read the book... I won't get where I want to go if I don't know where I'm going.

Second: Trust... since my whole encounter with unexpected (temporary) limitations I've read, read, read anything I could get my hands on to get well. While they didn't work for me they all lead to another road.

AND Third: Believe... In myself. We are all such wonderful creations with unlimited abilities and potential.

Several years ago doctors told me that there is nothing they can do to help me. I kinda felt myself drifting back to a time almost identical to a similar situation my father experienced. He recounted about the time he took me to a big NYC doctor. My father was around 25 at the time with 2 other children both under the age of 7. He didn't have a lot of money but he just knew if he could get me to this doctor that I would be ok. We flew to NYC, got to the doctors office and waited and waited and waited. Finally we were called... he looked me over and in 5 minutes time he had the answer my father thought would open the skies and rain down God's infinite wisdom of healing. "Mr. Barr, there's nothing I can do". NOTHING? What wait that can't be... nothing??????? In my eyes, at that moment, the strongest most loving and caring man in the world picked me up, took me home, and taught me to NEVER EVER give up. There is ALWAYS a way.

So let's do it Montel.

"In the confrontation between the stream and the rock, the stream always wins- not through strength but by perseverance." H. Jackson Brown

Holy Mary Mother of GOD! What happened? Therapy today was so hard. I could barely do anything he asked me to do. What could possibly have happened between Sunday and today? I was disappointed to say the least and after such a great weekend. He says he thinks it was due to knowing I was being re-evaluated and that it psyched me out. I don't know about that but as upsetting as today's therapy session was I need to sit down, relax, reflect, take a deep breath and move on. Tomorrow is a brand new day.